So here I am, almost at the threshold of the next chapter of my life, and I can't help but feel uncertain and apprehensive. Maybe a little excited yeah, but mostly i just dread moving on.
To say that my one and a half years in college has fallen short of my expectations would be a gross understatement. For the most part I've just been tired of the inefficiency and the sub-standard education that KDU has put us through at such a high cost, and if I could go back to the period post-form 5 and change the decision I made I would have, but this is not the point of this post.
The point of this post is to reminisce and to look at the bright side of things, to remember the wonderful friends I've made this past year and a half, to reflect on how much I've grown, and to be thankful for the person I've become whether because of or despite what I went through in my college years.
I remember early on in the semester I was whining to my friends that we have freaking 4 hour breaks between classes 3 days a week, and classes start at 8am every freaking morning. "What the heck!" I remember saying. To have classes at 8am everyday would essentially mean I have to get up at 6ish every morning and get stuck in the agonizing traffic jams. (oh oops, if theres anything i learnt this sem, it's that there's no such term as "traffic jam". You're either "stuck in traffic", or you're "caught in a jam". So learn people! XD)
We were all making a big fuss about the horrible timetable, but as the semester progressed, we got used to it, and even derived unexpected pleasure from it. Four-hour breaks essentially meant a lot of bonding time over lunch at ikea/ipoh hor fun/SUSHIIIIIIIII!!/random kopitiams. Oh and not forgetting the one utama/curve berjalan jalan sambil shopping periods of course. The nonsense pictures we took in forever21 and anywhere else with quirky accessories... And of course I loved loved loved our sushi zanmai times. Everybody should eat salmon sashimi there. (It's in oneU near Parkson). The salmon is so fresh and thick and nice and succulent and salmony... Can die of food orgasm I tell you.
And so if I totally hated the horrible timing of my classes and the classes itself, I absolutely loved our going out times. That, and my three beeyootiful girlfriends of course (What? you think I'd forget to mention you people? ;p) I wouldn't trade for anything. Of course the 8am classes weren't so bad after all considering that Rubin was lecturing, and his classes are one of the very few in all my time in KDU that actually contributed to my intellect and intelligence.
I realize that throughout my life, I have always been disappointed by the next stage of my life. In primary school, I was so so glad to be out of my chains and into secondary school, which seemed like a lot more freedom compared to the torture we were put through. Well actually the torture only lasted 2 years in primary school. I mean, if standard 5 students had to call each other up every afternoon to check their math homework answers for fear of getting caned the next day for every question they got wrong, and if teachers literally tore students' exercise books and threw them across the room in rage simply because the student's journal entry was not long enough, and if teachers did not celebrate teachers day at all because it was deemed to be "a waste of precious time which could have been put to good use studying their brains off for UPSR", and if students lived in constant fear of their teachers, then you know something is seriously wrong with the Chinese education system. I digress.
Secondary school wasn't exactly bad, in fact it was a lot more pleasant compared to primary school. And of course the highlight of those years was winning a trip to Melbourne after which I found lifelong friends. But see, secondary school was a bore. Aside from the ocassional competitions and out-of-school seminars which helped ease the drudgery, there was nothing very interesting or memorable about it. Of course this is partly because I never really found my place in a Chinese medium school.
So imagine my joy after that phase of my life was over and done with. I had SO many expectations for college. I thought I would finally, FINALLY, learn what I really want to rather than be subjected to routine and subjects I had no particular interest in. And then I stepped foot in KDU and learnt never to trust the words "reputation" and "quality education" in advertisements. Sorry if I sound so bitter but honestly, I feel as though I have been so unproductive for the past year and a half, not really learning anything to increase my knowledge of anything, and being fed things I probably would have picked up on my own eventually as I came out to work.
Yet I sort of don't want this phase to be over. It has almost been too comfortable I suppose. I whine about not learning anything, but when I think about it, college has been so comfortable. I've done well in my studies without having to put in a lot of effort like in high school, I've gone to new places and done new things, I've discovered myself a little bit more, I've had a lot more freedom, I've learnt confidence and communication (LOL), and just, you know, it has been on the most part, a pleasant ride.
In two weeks time I have to start sending in my resumes to media companies and take on at least two months of internship. And then I don't know what's going to happen for the rest of the year. Will I continue working? Will I continue studying or will I wait till next year? Will I actually stay out or will it just be another thought i will continue mulling over? All these unanswered questions which only time can answer. Hopefully, this next phase will not disappoint me yet again.
And so it's not surprising if I'm feeling a little apprehensive and uncertain. But I know all I have to do is take it one step at a time and put my hope in God, because He will watch over me every step of the way.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
To say that my one and a half years in college has fallen short of my expectations would be a gross understatement. For the most part I've just been tired of the inefficiency and the sub-standard education that KDU has put us through at such a high cost, and if I could go back to the period post-form 5 and change the decision I made I would have, but this is not the point of this post.
The point of this post is to reminisce and to look at the bright side of things, to remember the wonderful friends I've made this past year and a half, to reflect on how much I've grown, and to be thankful for the person I've become whether because of or despite what I went through in my college years.
I remember early on in the semester I was whining to my friends that we have freaking 4 hour breaks between classes 3 days a week, and classes start at 8am every freaking morning. "What the heck!" I remember saying. To have classes at 8am everyday would essentially mean I have to get up at 6ish every morning and get stuck in the agonizing traffic jams. (oh oops, if theres anything i learnt this sem, it's that there's no such term as "traffic jam". You're either "stuck in traffic", or you're "caught in a jam". So learn people! XD)
We were all making a big fuss about the horrible timetable, but as the semester progressed, we got used to it, and even derived unexpected pleasure from it. Four-hour breaks essentially meant a lot of bonding time over lunch at ikea/ipoh hor fun/SUSHIIIIIIIII!!/random kopitiams. Oh and not forgetting the one utama/curve berjalan jalan sambil shopping periods of course. The nonsense pictures we took in forever21 and anywhere else with quirky accessories... And of course I loved loved loved our sushi zanmai times. Everybody should eat salmon sashimi there. (It's in oneU near Parkson). The salmon is so fresh and thick and nice and succulent and salmony... Can die of food orgasm I tell you.
And so if I totally hated the horrible timing of my classes and the classes itself, I absolutely loved our going out times. That, and my three beeyootiful girlfriends of course (What? you think I'd forget to mention you people? ;p) I wouldn't trade for anything. Of course the 8am classes weren't so bad after all considering that Rubin was lecturing, and his classes are one of the very few in all my time in KDU that actually contributed to my intellect and intelligence.
I realize that throughout my life, I have always been disappointed by the next stage of my life. In primary school, I was so so glad to be out of my chains and into secondary school, which seemed like a lot more freedom compared to the torture we were put through. Well actually the torture only lasted 2 years in primary school. I mean, if standard 5 students had to call each other up every afternoon to check their math homework answers for fear of getting caned the next day for every question they got wrong, and if teachers literally tore students' exercise books and threw them across the room in rage simply because the student's journal entry was not long enough, and if teachers did not celebrate teachers day at all because it was deemed to be "a waste of precious time which could have been put to good use studying their brains off for UPSR", and if students lived in constant fear of their teachers, then you know something is seriously wrong with the Chinese education system. I digress.
Secondary school wasn't exactly bad, in fact it was a lot more pleasant compared to primary school. And of course the highlight of those years was winning a trip to Melbourne after which I found lifelong friends. But see, secondary school was a bore. Aside from the ocassional competitions and out-of-school seminars which helped ease the drudgery, there was nothing very interesting or memorable about it. Of course this is partly because I never really found my place in a Chinese medium school.
So imagine my joy after that phase of my life was over and done with. I had SO many expectations for college. I thought I would finally, FINALLY, learn what I really want to rather than be subjected to routine and subjects I had no particular interest in. And then I stepped foot in KDU and learnt never to trust the words "reputation" and "quality education" in advertisements. Sorry if I sound so bitter but honestly, I feel as though I have been so unproductive for the past year and a half, not really learning anything to increase my knowledge of anything, and being fed things I probably would have picked up on my own eventually as I came out to work.
Yet I sort of don't want this phase to be over. It has almost been too comfortable I suppose. I whine about not learning anything, but when I think about it, college has been so comfortable. I've done well in my studies without having to put in a lot of effort like in high school, I've gone to new places and done new things, I've discovered myself a little bit more, I've had a lot more freedom, I've learnt confidence and communication (LOL), and just, you know, it has been on the most part, a pleasant ride.
In two weeks time I have to start sending in my resumes to media companies and take on at least two months of internship. And then I don't know what's going to happen for the rest of the year. Will I continue working? Will I continue studying or will I wait till next year? Will I actually stay out or will it just be another thought i will continue mulling over? All these unanswered questions which only time can answer. Hopefully, this next phase will not disappoint me yet again.
And so it's not surprising if I'm feeling a little apprehensive and uncertain. But I know all I have to do is take it one step at a time and put my hope in God, because He will watch over me every step of the way.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
posted by suling at
3:40 PM
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