Can you believe I mustered up enough courage to crush a poor little cockroach under the sharp, prickly hairs of a berus lantai at 2.15am this morning?

Gosh, that was a seriously harrowing experience for me man. For those who don't already know, there is nothing on earth I'm more afraid of than a creepy little cockroach. It's not that they're dirty (Kwang Yew says he's scared of them coz they're dirty. Please lah. There are a million other dirtier things in the world...) but it's just...I dunno. Something about them that really really freak me out every single time I see them crawling around with their two tentacles ever moving and never stopping. If I had a choice (that is if I wasn't so completely terrified of them), I'd probably take a pair of scissors and cut off that two irritating thingys. That will teach them to tresspass on my toilet floor. Whoever gave them the right to come and freak the daylights out of me in the first place?!

But apparently I'll never be able to do that. What is wrong with me anyway? They're just silly little things that cannot in any way harm me. In fact, one of them had the audacity to personally crawl up my leg without me noticing while I was at a clinic once. More on that later, but my point is, I HAVE come into bodily contact with those things before, and I'm still alive and the thing crawling up my leg did not in any way give me pain/germs/viruses/diseases/boils/sores, so I really don't get why I have this seemingly incurable fear of cockroaches. I told my mom I need to see a psychologist. She just looked at me all weird.

Anyway, the clinic story. I was at a clinic in Klang Jaya once, happily fooling around with my sister on the bench when I suddenly felt something creeping up my leg. I looked down thinking it's probably an ant or whatever. And guess what i saw. I just FREAKED man. I screamed and kicked my legs wildly and just completely went nuts. Summor that one was the big one ok, the kind that could fly i think. Anyway, I kicked it off at last la, and somehow it overturned on its back and couldn't move anymore and my dad caught its pic in his phone. Very funny move my dad made while his daughter was on the verge of getting a heart attack.

So anyway, what happened yesterday night was, I went up to my room and opened the toilet door to wash up. Then *cheng cheng cheng* I saw IT. Thank God I didn't scream, cause it was 2.15 in the morning. I know some of you probably think I should have just shut the door and gone to sleep and not bother bout it coz in the morning it would be gone. But I'm a clean person okay. I always brush my teeth before I sleep, unlike some of you. Haha. So I was standing at the doorway of my toilet trying to regain my composure and come up with a war plan at the same time. The berus lantai was on the other side. Haiya, how to give you geographical explanations of my toilet? So I slowly crept up to the berus, trying not to attract the attention of the dumb cockroach. OK, first move made. Now for the 2nd move.

I held my berus lantai Wong Fei Hong style.Like, you know, ready-to-pulverize-that-roach-to-dust kind of pose. And then the very hospitable cockroach actually made my job easier by remaining still and not moving. I should have just taken advantage of the situation and plonk the berus down hard on that thing right? Wrong. I stood there mustering up the courage to actually bring the berus down into contact with the cockroach. How pathetic. I mean, to be afraid of cockroaches is one thing lah. To be afraid to KILL a cockroach that's nicely being still, apparently glad to surrender its life to you is just plain...stupid?

So I stood there praying, "God, You gotta help me do this lah. Give me courage please. Holy spirit just come and help me now, please!" And then I actually mustered up enough courage to do it. But then I chickened out at the last second. And this went on a few times. A few times ok. I would have used a lot of expletives if I wasn't a Christian. I could feel my heart pumping ok, literally! Even being lifted from land and turned 360 degrees in midair on the tomahawk in Sunway Lagoon on Sunday wasn't so scary I tell you.

So it took me about 15 minutes going through the same chickening out process when I finally said, Ok this is it la. You don't do it now, you might as well just stand here for the rest of your life. SO. I just did it. Yeah. brought the berus down on that pesky thing and whacked a few times and scrubbed the floor with it and mutilated it. And it still didn't wanna die ok. Babi. It's body was pretty much torn apart and it was still kicking its legs wildly. Talk about a cat having 9 lives lah.

Anyway, after all that, it finally died lah. Oh God. Thank you so much. The whole process took me half an hour ok. My mom would have done it and even disposed of its corpse in 5 seconds.

I have made up my mind. Well, actually I've made up my mind a long time ago but the agonizing experience of yesterday just served to reaffirm my decision. My future husband HAS to be someone who's NOT afraid of cockroaches and who's willing to wake up in the middle of the night to kill cockroaches for me. Not that THAT's gonna happen because I'm going to hire one of those pest ridding services to rid my house of cockroaches, larvae and all, before I move in. But if, and that's a big IF, i see cockroaches at home (make that A cockroach please), he's gotta kill it for me man, no questions asked. So yea, he can have Josh Duhamel's looks, he can have James Bond's suaveness, he can have Pastor Henry's faith, he can have Jamie Oliver's cooking skills, he can have Joel Houston's song writing skills, but if he so much as squirms at the sight of a cockroach, he's out. Sorry.