Ramblings and fake accents
First of all, Siyan, MY TAGBOX IS WORKING LAH! You ar, told you your pc sot sot d. haha.
To everybody else reading this, ignore the post after this cos the Singapore trip jadi after all. See, what happened was my aunt went to the bus station on the eve of Christmas eve and got tickets for us, so we left on Christmas eve right after Sunday service. There wasn’t time to tell everybody, so to all 5S1ers who tried to contact me “so many times” in vain, I’m sorry you guys thought I was kidnapped and called the police. Heehee. Don’t worry, there’ll always be another sushi making session ;p
There’s nothing much to shout about my Singapore trip really. I didn’t really enjoy it cos of certain reasons, but I’m too lazy to give you all the dirt, so I thought I’d just post pictures. But that also have to wait lah, cos my camera no batt. Hahaha. But what I CAN do now is to tell you about my harrowing experience being interrogated by my dad’s cousin’s brother (who’s technically my dad’s cousin too, but I prefer to think of him in that way).
So we went to Sengkang, Singapore to meet him, and he’s a normal 30+ year old guy really, except he’s got a lifelong passion to “save all the youth around the world from moral decay”. I am not even kidding you ok. Those were his exact words, only he told me in mandarin, so I’m translating it into English for all the bananas. Hehe. But what happened was this: I went to his house and I was sitting there nicely not saying anything when he suddenly started asking me my name and what I was planning to do with my life. So I told him I wasn’t sure, YET, but he started giving me this long lecture about how we should know what our goals in life are and how we’re going to achieve them. Then he gave me the example of HIS goal in HIS life, and that’s where the “I wanna save all the youth around the world from moral decay” part comes in.
Ok, I thought that was that. Mana tau he started giving me points on how to succeed in life. You know, like those self help books. “1st, write down your goals. 2nd, plan. 3rd, do something” you know, that kind of thing. So I sat there listening, but basically I didn’t register at all what he was saying. I just ACTED like I was very interested, you know, making eye contact, nodding my head in agreement at strategic intervals, smiling in mock amusement when I thought he was making a joke, that kind of thing. Then sial, he started QUIZZING me on the points he had just mentioned! I was like, shit. So I simply tembak lah, then mana tau all wrong! So embarrassing ok, especially since when he asked me before quizzing me whether I remember the points, I had confidently answered, “Yes!” (Hey, just to shut him up you know)
You’d think that he’d get the hint by then, but no! He continued. And don’t ask me what he said after that, because I wasn’t listening at all. There were times when he paused suddenly and I got all tensed up. I hate pauses like that. You don’t know whether you’re supposed to respond, or wait for him to continue with his rambling since he looks almost ready to burst from his unconcealed excitement of saving me from moral decay. Then he suddenly asked: “Do you understand English?” Too much ok!! Looking down on my intelligence izit!! Let me show you what I can do!! (He was speaking in mandarin before this remember?) So I said yes. Then he started speaking in that very very fake Americaney accent, continuing what he was just saying, only this time I was paying attention because I was so amused by his silly accent.
Then he asked: “Do you know who Tiger Woods is?” I can’t believe myself sometimes. Why do I have to be such an angel all the time? I should have said something like: “Yea yea!! I’m an avid golfer and Tiger’s actually a family friend. My whole family went to Cleveland, Ohio to watch him play when I was 4 years old, and when he won the World Golf Tournament there, my dad got him to sign my cap and I even took a photo with him! My mom invited him to visit us if he ever comes to Malaysia and two years ago, he came and stayed at my house!” or something lah, just to shut him up. But instead, I said: “Um, yeah, he’s the champion golfer, right?” As though I wasn’t even totally, entirely, completely, 100% sure. I should’ve known better than to answer a dumb question with another dumb question, but whatever lah. The misery continued.
Yada yada yada. My sister is damn melampau ok. She was sitting there happily, gloating and watching me being tortured and not doing a single thing to save me, until the last minute when my aunt asked her a question about me and she had to ask me. She smacked my thigh and cut right though the man’s monologue and saved me finally. THANK GOD!!! I answered my aunt’s question and continued to drag on the conversation with her and left the man out completely until he got bored of waiting for me to turn my attention to him and HE. FINALLY. LEFT. (to go to his room! YAY!!)
Phew. If I ever do go to Singapore again, I’ll never ever step foot in there anymore. I heard from my dad’s cousin that all the teens in the family have kena-ed from him before, in fact each time they go to his house, he’ll make them go into his room and ask them “questions”. God!
So anyway, I’ll post pictures of Singapore up soon. And in case you’re wondering why I bothered to blog about this experience in the first place, it’s because I was sitting there while he was rambling on and on, thinking I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT HIM!!!
BLESSED NEW YEAR everyone!! =)
To everybody else reading this, ignore the post after this cos the Singapore trip jadi after all. See, what happened was my aunt went to the bus station on the eve of Christmas eve and got tickets for us, so we left on Christmas eve right after Sunday service. There wasn’t time to tell everybody, so to all 5S1ers who tried to contact me “so many times” in vain, I’m sorry you guys thought I was kidnapped and called the police. Heehee. Don’t worry, there’ll always be another sushi making session ;p
There’s nothing much to shout about my Singapore trip really. I didn’t really enjoy it cos of certain reasons, but I’m too lazy to give you all the dirt, so I thought I’d just post pictures. But that also have to wait lah, cos my camera no batt. Hahaha. But what I CAN do now is to tell you about my harrowing experience being interrogated by my dad’s cousin’s brother (who’s technically my dad’s cousin too, but I prefer to think of him in that way).
So we went to Sengkang, Singapore to meet him, and he’s a normal 30+ year old guy really, except he’s got a lifelong passion to “save all the youth around the world from moral decay”. I am not even kidding you ok. Those were his exact words, only he told me in mandarin, so I’m translating it into English for all the bananas. Hehe. But what happened was this: I went to his house and I was sitting there nicely not saying anything when he suddenly started asking me my name and what I was planning to do with my life. So I told him I wasn’t sure, YET, but he started giving me this long lecture about how we should know what our goals in life are and how we’re going to achieve them. Then he gave me the example of HIS goal in HIS life, and that’s where the “I wanna save all the youth around the world from moral decay” part comes in.
Ok, I thought that was that. Mana tau he started giving me points on how to succeed in life. You know, like those self help books. “1st, write down your goals. 2nd, plan. 3rd, do something” you know, that kind of thing. So I sat there listening, but basically I didn’t register at all what he was saying. I just ACTED like I was very interested, you know, making eye contact, nodding my head in agreement at strategic intervals, smiling in mock amusement when I thought he was making a joke, that kind of thing. Then sial, he started QUIZZING me on the points he had just mentioned! I was like, shit. So I simply tembak lah, then mana tau all wrong! So embarrassing ok, especially since when he asked me before quizzing me whether I remember the points, I had confidently answered, “Yes!” (Hey, just to shut him up you know)
You’d think that he’d get the hint by then, but no! He continued. And don’t ask me what he said after that, because I wasn’t listening at all. There were times when he paused suddenly and I got all tensed up. I hate pauses like that. You don’t know whether you’re supposed to respond, or wait for him to continue with his rambling since he looks almost ready to burst from his unconcealed excitement of saving me from moral decay. Then he suddenly asked: “Do you understand English?” Too much ok!! Looking down on my intelligence izit!! Let me show you what I can do!! (He was speaking in mandarin before this remember?) So I said yes. Then he started speaking in that very very fake Americaney accent, continuing what he was just saying, only this time I was paying attention because I was so amused by his silly accent.
Then he asked: “Do you know who Tiger Woods is?” I can’t believe myself sometimes. Why do I have to be such an angel all the time? I should have said something like: “Yea yea!! I’m an avid golfer and Tiger’s actually a family friend. My whole family went to Cleveland, Ohio to watch him play when I was 4 years old, and when he won the World Golf Tournament there, my dad got him to sign my cap and I even took a photo with him! My mom invited him to visit us if he ever comes to Malaysia and two years ago, he came and stayed at my house!” or something lah, just to shut him up. But instead, I said: “Um, yeah, he’s the champion golfer, right?” As though I wasn’t even totally, entirely, completely, 100% sure. I should’ve known better than to answer a dumb question with another dumb question, but whatever lah. The misery continued.
Yada yada yada. My sister is damn melampau ok. She was sitting there happily, gloating and watching me being tortured and not doing a single thing to save me, until the last minute when my aunt asked her a question about me and she had to ask me. She smacked my thigh and cut right though the man’s monologue and saved me finally. THANK GOD!!! I answered my aunt’s question and continued to drag on the conversation with her and left the man out completely until he got bored of waiting for me to turn my attention to him and HE. FINALLY. LEFT. (to go to his room! YAY!!)
Phew. If I ever do go to Singapore again, I’ll never ever step foot in there anymore. I heard from my dad’s cousin that all the teens in the family have kena-ed from him before, in fact each time they go to his house, he’ll make them go into his room and ask them “questions”. God!
So anyway, I’ll post pictures of Singapore up soon. And in case you’re wondering why I bothered to blog about this experience in the first place, it’s because I was sitting there while he was rambling on and on, thinking I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT HIM!!!
BLESSED NEW YEAR everyone!! =)
posted by suling at
5:17 PM
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